Witches of the Abbey
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Laura's review
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Guest Stars 
Paul Lichtman [Barkley], Mary Tamm [ Aunt Alice ], Maria Lennon [ Winifred ], Chantal Marcks [ Hester ], Shayne Anderson [ Sister Beatrice / Brendan ], John Medlen [ Sir Spyder ], Zachary Bogatz [ Sean ], Christopher Leirer [ Aidan ], Maxwell Meltzer [ Bailiff ], Tom Kuhn [ Town crier ], Ruta Spelskyte [ Little girl ], Laura Seryte [ Aggie ], Darius Jarasunas [ Beatrice ]
Aired: 3 Mar-97 Episode:12 Written by:Susan Graham  Director: Terry Marcel

 

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Lamb
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Witches
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Handle Aunt Alice


 
Laydee Laura's Misguided Tour
WITCHES OF THE ABBEY 
(or B*tches of the Abbey)


I don't want to get off on a rant, but I have to say that every time someone does something involving a stereotypical witch I get mad. Very few tv shows and movies have portrayed them accurately. However I can't get really mad at this one. This series is totally inaccurate about everything else, so further mistakes are to be expected. The three witches do remind me of some of the spoiled drama queens on the daytime soap operas though.
YOU CAN GET IT IN THIS NECK OF THE WOODS: 
The scene in the cauldron is the New Adventures of Robin Hood on TNT! Things must be looking up in Sherwood if they've got cable TV.

AUNTIE ANNIHILATION:
A Half Nelson? A Takedown? Did the WWF run overtime into Robin Hood again?

HIT ME BABY, ONE MORE TIME: 
Matthew teaching archery ? YEAH right! The kid hit the target, and Matthew's was the overshot.
Don't aim? Well, we know how well that works for you, Matthew!!

SECRET STACHE:
Matt's beard and mustache appear very sparse in this ep because it's still growing back after shaving it for Legend of Olwyn.

JUG HANDLE: 
Robin can handle his nasty Aunt Alice. He still has the etchings from his Father's 40th birthday party of Alice dancing on a table with a lampshade on her head.

DRESSED TO KILL: 
Remember what I said in my first review, that you haven't gone too far until you have a man in a dress? I think we've crossed (or just blurred?) the line with the appearance of Sister Beatrice.

WONDER WOMAN:
Gee, I wonder what that one thing Winifred and Hester want Little John for could be? (blinking innocently.)

NUN OF THE ABOVE:
I stand corrected. This takes the cake, and the ice cream too. Robin in disguise as a NUN??? Hey, I wouldn't mind taking holy orders from him!

HANDSOME BLADE: 
Robin's playing with knives again. Actually, Matthew was waiting for his cue to start the scene.

FLAME ON: 
The torch lights itself, and Robin didn't even have to say the magic words!

BEHIND DOOR #1: 
The bar brawl is behind door #1. That has to be one of the oldest sight gags in the book (next to the chase scene that includes a firefighter.)

BEHIND DOOR #2:
A couple in bed, woman screaming; another old sight gag. Robin could have been a gentleman and retreated, but nooooo! He has to be difficult and go out the other door.

PETITE JOHN: 
Not only is the Little John that jumps off the horse wearing the wrong costume, but also he's only half Richard's size.

A PERFECTLY GOOD EXPLANATION:
Robin- "I'm sure Little John was not himself." Nope, he just woke up on the wrong side of his psyche this morning.

SLEEPING ON THE JOB: 
Once again Robin is unconscious. Matthew needed a rest after all that strenuous lying about he did in Legend of Olwyn.

ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO LIE ABOUT: 
The news of Robin's death might have spread quicker if they'd told Joan Rivers. But then she'd have driven everyone crazy asking who designed his tunic.

THE SHIRT OFF HIS BACK: 
Shirts with Robin's picture on them? Yeah, right, who would want something like that (besides me?)

HE, SHE, AND COUSIN IT: 
"She [Sister Beatrice] went for it." So did you, if you thought Sister Beatrice was a "she".

WHEN THE SWALLOWS COME BACK TO CAPISTRANO:
How exactly is Robin supposed to swallow the mushroom antidote if he's unconscious? Or is he supposed to get it by osmosis?

KISS ME ONCE:
The long awaited Mushroom Kiss. This is the only time that Marion and Robin get to kiss. Of course, true to form, Robin sleeps through it. Y'Know, this relationship would be a lot further along if Robin could stay awake.

HACKING COUGH: 
Aunt Alice has a hacksaw? Didn't think those were invented yet, but I suppose these witches can conjure up whatever they like.

AND THE SPECIAL EFFECT OF THE DAY IS...: 
They had to make things difficult for Robin (or they had to stretch for time.) Here's a fight in a spiderweb/trampoline with a humanoid spider-demon. It's an excuse to use Matthew's acrobatic talents. The only stuntguy in this scene is the spider. Music is cool, and I like watching Matty bounce around.

CALL THE ORKIN MAN: 
Robin hates bugs? Then why do you live in a forest, Dummy?

CLICHE ALERT: 
Robin- "Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated." I want a show of hands, how many of us knew that line was coming?

PRIZE FIGHT: 
Little John gets to beat the stuffing out of Robin. Actually, it's payback for all the times Little John had to carry Robin.

BACK TO THE WALL: 
When Little John backs Robin against the archway and bounces him against the arch, you can see the adjacent wall move. (just to the right of LJ and R.)

THAT ONE'S A KEEPER: 
The squishy face Robin makes when he's waiting for Little John to kill him is just too precious. 

LEFTY?: 
When Little John and Robin prepeare to fight the witches, Robin switches his sword from his right hand to his left. Why? They already know he's right handed, so he's not fooling them. I know, it just looks good that way.

DOUBLE TROUBLE:
Can't beat the cartoony double take done by Robin and Little John when the hags pull out their broom-handled switchblades.

BE NICE TO YOUR AUNTIE: 
Robin- "[I'm going] to pay a call on my dear Aunt." Yeah, he's gonna go throw a ladle full of her own dirty bathwater in her face. Notice that when he pours the witches brew into the bottle, he's spilling most of it on the floor. What a slob!

BEWITCHED, BOTHERED, AND BEWILDERED:
Little John had to give up three beautiful witches, and he's glad to be going home? He must still be under a spell.


FINAL SCORE: 
I loved the music in the spiderweb scene. They used it again at the end of this ep. Very nice, but why didn't they ever use that or something similar again? Aside from that, high scores on fight scenes, special effects, and Matthew's hair. Would have loved to see Marion's relief show a little more after Robin is revived, but you can't have everything, now can you?




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