Outlaw's Express
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Sound Bites
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That Hat!!!



Guest Stars 
Richard Norton [ Trueco ], Judy Green [ unknown ], Dan Speaker [ unknown ], David Bailie [ Mills ], Simon Fogg [ Talbot ], Graham Fox [ Friar Philip ], Andrea Griffin [ unknown ], Bryan Marshall [ Bryce ], Tomas Ereminas [ Burly prisoner ], Jon Paul Beauregard [ Guard #1 ], Mary Walsh [ Police guard #1 ], Adrian Carr [ Preacher ], Matthew Porretta [ Jacobi ], Richard Ashton [ Sheriff Bickerton ], Martyn Ellis [ Lawrence ]
Aired: Oct 4 97 Episode: 25 Written by: David Sloan Director: Adrian Carr

  

Laydee Laura's Misguided Tour
Outlaw's Express
(or How Ridiculous Can You Get?)


I would hazard a guess that this episode took the longest to make.  Some of the scenes in this episode are so silly to watch, I can't imagine the actors being able to do them without laughing, especially ones with Martyn as the Wedding Coordinator and Richard as the Sherriff.  Richard was very funny as the bumbling Sherriff, and Martyn well and truly over the top as the
Coordinator.  I bet the best outtakes came out of this episode. 
 PRISON RIOT:
 Nice showcasing of Richard Norton's fighting skills (and his pectoral muscles) in the opening scene.  Why is there a woman in this prison?  And who is that guy with the long hair whose back is turned to us (as if we didn't know already?)

 AND I DO MY LITTLE TURN ON THE CATWALK:
 Instead of having one of the characters explain who these convicts are they introduce them in the most bald-faced manner they could:  they send 'em down a runway to the wagon and
introduce all of them in voice over.  Again, how did they think we wouldn't
know who that was under all the hair?

 STICK WITH ME, I'LL SHOW YOU THE ROPES, AND THE CHAINS AND THE  HANDCUFFS TOO:
 All the prisoners jump up into the wagon, but no guards are in there
to put them in manacles.  They are all in manacles up on the wagon walls
when Warden Brice speaks to them.  Did they do it themselves?

 DOES THIS MAKE ME LOOK STUPID?:
 Robin tries on his ridiculous wedding attire.  It really isn't all that bad until you add the hat.
The hat really does make it look silly.

 KEY CODE:
 When Lilly gets her manacles undone she unlocks Trueco, who then helps her unlock the others.  How can he help her when there was only one key?

 I'M GOING MY WAY:
 The Convicts and Robin are both going to the same place, so why are they going in different directions?  Robin has to turn around to see the convicts who are 
behind him and headed the other way.

 MULTIPLE MATTHEW:
 Robin defeated himself in the Devil's Bride, and has
come back for a rematch with Jacobi!

 I AM MY OWN BEST FRIEND:
 Would someone tell me why Jacobi cries out his own name just before Robin stabs him to death?  Is there a third Matthew hiding in the underbrush?

 IT'S NOT A SNAP:
 Does someone who shall remain nameless (Robin) not know
how to snap his fingers?  It looks like he's having difficulty.

 LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN:
 Martyn as the Wedding Coordinator is just too too much.  Not to mention, he's sadly misinformed.  Marion said she'd be there tomorrow for the wedding, and he thinks it's the day after tomorrow. 
Whatever the date is, shouldn't you be cleaning out the place NOW in order
to be ready on the wedding day?

 YOU MIGHT BE AN OUTLAW IF...:
 The Convicts should know it's not Jacobi by now.  His voice is higher, he has trouble snapping his fingers, and he smiles too much.

 THE WALLS HAVE EARS:
 Robin doesn't want to be overheard in the kitchen, so he checks the hallway,... and leaves the door wide open.   He has to leave it open so we can see Mr. Mills' shadow on the wall.

 NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE:
 How come Caitlin doesn't recognize Robin?  She was Sir Guy's nurse in Bombs Away.  (Andrea Griffin, who may or may not be related to Barbara Griffin aka Marion)

 GET OUT THE LYSOL:
 Sherriff:  "I can smell their criminality."  Yeah I
smell something too, the distinct odor of bull-CENSORED!!!

 NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS:
 In another flip-flop among swticharoos, Young Francis is actually Young Frances.  (Ever see the movie Yellowbeard?  Do you remember Mr. Prostitute?  LMAO)

 DECENT EXPOSURE:
 Robin's leather vest keeps falling off in the most
becoming and almost Flashdance kinda way.

 DEAD GIVEAWAY:
 Okay, the Convicts should know beyond a doubt now that Jacobi isn't Jacobi.  The man who murdered 2 people in prison just saved the hostages and the Sherriff.  Good thing 
these dolts are too stupid to figure it out.

 WHAT PART OF ENGLAND ARE YOU FROM?:
 British Outlaws, please tell me if I'm wrong, but to me it sounds like Matthew learned his cocky Cockney from an Aussie.

 WHAT WAS THAT FOR???:
 Robin (as Jacobi):  "Afterwards we'll dump the bodies in the bay."  He says this line and then sticks his tongue into his lower lip and makes a noise and a funny face.  Would someone tell me why????  Maybe he was trying to make someone laugh?

 DON'T BITE OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW:
 Lilly kisses Robin and bites his lip!  Hey, save some for the rest of us!

 CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER:
 Okay, I get the feeling that some prankster was at work in this episode.  Sherriff Bickerton puts on his hat and it squeaks!!!

 JACK ON HORSEBACK:
  Brice rides up with Jacobi draped over his saddle, arms hanging down.  If you're fast enough you will see Jacobi brace his right hand on the horse's leg as he goes past the camera.  You can't see the
other hand because he's got ahold of the saddle girth with that one.

 THE OTHER POLICEMAN'S BALL:
 When the Sherriff says his line about the policeman's ball, you might notice Jacobi's body shake a little bit.  That was so funny he had to laugh.

 I KNEW THAT:
 We already knew the Convicts were going to the docks at Hardwick, so why did they have to hit us over the head with the signs that say Hardwick Docks?

 FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS:
 It's nice to see that all of the fishnets worn by
the Mongols in the very first episode went back to their intended usage.

 WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?:
 There was absolutely no reason for Brice to bring Robin's bag of clothing with him.  Oh yeah, Robin does use it briefly as a weapon, I guess that's why.

 NOW YOU SEE IT, NOW YOU DON'T:
 Have you noticed yet?  The most damning piece of evidence that Jacobi isn't Jacobi isn't here in this episode.  The Dragon Tattoo-- so obvious last season-- is conspicuously absent this
season.  Guess Robin had it lasered.

 DESIGNER ORIGINAL:
 Coordinator:  "This is a genuine Vermicelli!"  Do you
mean the worm or the spaghetti?

 SILLY BOYS:
 The Coordinator and Mr. Mills go mincing off, Talbot and Caitlin make their escape, and Robin is left alone with the Sherriff.  I wanna know how many takes it took for Matthew and Richard to get through this scene; to me it looks like one or the other was about to lose it and
start laughing.

 WHITE WEDDING:
 No one had time to wash their dirty faces before the
wedding ceremony, huh?  Oh, but Robin had time to change his clothes.

 SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE:
 When Robin realizes Marion is bemoaning the fact he didn't wear the lacy wedding clothes, he opens his mouth as if he intends to explain it to her right there in the middle of the
ceremony!

 PUNCHLINE/CLICHE ALERT:
 Marion covers her eyes, Tuck covers his mouth, and Little John puts his hand over one ear.  Reminds me of some little monkeys we all know.



 FINAL SCORE:
 Too bad that Robin had to kill Jacobi.  He might have been a fun character to see develop.  But it turned out okay;  it's probably one of the first times (outside a soap opera) where an actor's character has been killed off and he remained on the show.


Click the links below to go to each Outlaws Express gallery
Outlaws One / Outlaws TwoOutlaws Three
Outlaws Four  /  Outlaws Five  /  Outlaws Six



 

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